I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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