He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Let's get the cat blown out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
