Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
