i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
