Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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