mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
