he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
