Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
