If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
