i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
