she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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