I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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