I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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