at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The air was thick with penises
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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