Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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