There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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