I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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