Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
