Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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