it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
