first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
