Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
