I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
