Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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