I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
