hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
