No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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