Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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