Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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