we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
