RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
