I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
