what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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