you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
