Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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