Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
