We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
