The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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