it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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