I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
