I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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