I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
