it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
