I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
