"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
