U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
