You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
