just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
