I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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