he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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